It was year 1980. Reema was having lunch with her large family of aunts and cousins. Her childlike curiosity was piqued by a sanitary napkin commercial on TV. The signature Whisper Ad with the sanitary pad bleeding in blue filled the television screen, sparking a flurry of questions. There questions clamored for her attention, imploring her to be answered. Reema looked around with her peripheral vision. She could sense all the furtive eyes looking at her. Though she felt embarrassed and lowered her gaze, the questions were relentless enough and she sought a response to their command. She had difficulty pushing the questions that launched a riot in her mind. A disquiet reigned inside her. Unable to cage her questions in the confines of the unknown anymore, she brought them to the surface. But the surface wasn’t ready to handle them; the foundation couldn’t withstand the onslaught of questions and tried to brush them under the carpet with firm resolve. By an arch of an eyebrow, by blithely dismissing them with a hush, and by punctuating them with silence.
Thus, a 10-year-old’s questions on period put a period to the conversations. That did not silence the hunger pangs of the Reema; instead, it created havoc inside her. A year later, she entered puberty and plunged into an unknown realm of bodily changes, mood swings, and an emotional rollercoaster without knowing how to process the ensuing mental churn. She embarked on the journey of womanhood like every girl her age did. With zero knowledge and hardly any resources to help her in this transition, Reema journeyed through the road hardly travelled. Society did not bother about her journey instead it piled on obstacles with illogical yet stringent rules and ensuring she followed the path diligently without violating its sanctity.
Cut to 2020. Reema is a mother of over-enthusiastic tween girls. They reminded Reema of her younger self. But they are born in the age of exposure, unlike Reema. Now Whisper is not a whisper anymore but it demands a wise articulation. Unfortunately, our Reema is not equipped with the right vocabulary which will satiate the curiosity of her two daughters. She hems and haws and indecisively concocts a tepid response. Refusing to address the follow-up questions of her girls, she switches off the TV and pins them with a stare that could easily desiccate a coconut. Inadequate knowledge leaves her daughters face to face with a harsh reality of social media. Their resigned admission about their mother’s lack of help in these matters pushes them to seek help from the all-knowing phenomenon. Internet.
As they meander through uncharted terrain, they stumble upon a Pandora’s box. With no turning back, they dig deeper, unaware of social media’s sinister side. Social media is all-encompassing with pros and cons and the tweens, and the tweens give in to its allure, only to feel its claws pulling them into a bottomless abyss. They start comparing their bodies with the images in the social media grid and feel like misfits. Inner confidence, kaput.
If only Reema had been more outspoken and cleared her daughters’ doubts. If only Reema’s younger self had gotten all the answers in her teenage years. If only the entire conditioning revolving around puberty had a revelation and thereby embarked on a revolution to destigmatize it.
If only.
Today with girls hitting puberty much earlier at around 7 and 8, there is a dire need to breakdown facts and mechanisms to make them armed with the right knowledge and resources around this time-immemorial taboo-ed topic. The Whisper Ad campaign is an eye-opener that evokes a
mixed set of feelings emitting relief and angst. Relief as it highlights how far we have come and angst because even though efforts are being made to educate the world, we are still stuck in age-old beliefs and have tightly fastened our minds resisting the natural transition. Our society is straddling between both embracing and rejecting the normal evolution process.
The Ad shows a bunch of school girls talking in whispers about their friend’s red stain in the uniform. Each one comes up with their analysis behind the red stain on their friend’s uniform. If one hints at some dreadful illness that has caught the girl, the other one chimes saying we should not be touching her. The girl feels stifled by each interpretation. Not knowing the reason for the stain, she starts internalizing the jeers and remarks thrown her way until a teacher intervenes and busts their ignorance bubble by educating them about the natural transition process of puberty. As education blots the ignorance, the girl who had hit puberty breathes free and slowly her red stain starts to see acceptance among her classmates. Ads like these are empowering, underscoring the need for age-appropriate education on puberty and menstruation.
It is time we as a society stop throwing shade on shade red.
Let’s un-taboo the taboo. Let’s lay all its cards on a coffee table and engage in a deep-seated conversation.
On the same note, I picked a book recently that busted many myths around periods and puberty, and laid bare the science behind the hormones – the wirepuller of our human body.
What’s Up with Me by Tisca Chopra, a debut novel of the actress is a node that connects parents and preteens by dwelling on the most under-addressed as well as misunderstood subject in today’s world. This book, a starter kit for parents, delves deeper into the intricacies of this transitional age and how important it is to offer a platform for their children to express their thoughts and emotions during this stage—steering the young onto the right path by equipping them with the right tools forms this book’s underlying subtext.
In an age of information overload and analysis-paralysis, this book comes as a whiff of fresh air that breaks down the 101 of puberty, throws light on the various issues that lurk underneath the glossy exterior of social media and nudges us to clean the stains of the age-old conditioning that distorted the real essence of periods and puberty and left an indelible mark in the minds of the people.
A preteen’s takeaway from Tisca’s Book: Uncovering the 5 Gems
1. Puberty says, “Age is just a number”: Puberty conveys that I am growing up. And it is completely okay to grow at your own pace– Puberty isn’t defined by a specific number. Girls can attain puberty between the ages of nine and thirteen but sometimes we can catch up as late as fourteen too.
2. Puberty is an evolution process – A lot of physiological changes come in the wake of puberty when chemical messengers called hormones take a rollercoaster ride. Puberty is making me aware that my body is growing up. It’s like Darwin’s theory of evolution – ‘survival of the fittest.’ In a similar way, puberty’s changes are teaching me to adapt and fit in. I don’t have to love these changes right away, but slowly, I can get used to them. Maybe I can even treat myself to an ice cream to make the transition smoother!
3. Puberty helps me understand my emotions – I have different emotions and sometimes they go on overdrive. They are also called big feelings. It is okay to feel them and accept them like we take the emotion of happiness. Puberty helps me feel those emotions, label them, and move on without making a big deal out of them. Puberty is a looking glass that mirrors my emotional health. On the first day of my period, hormones run amok and emotions are all over the place but as I adjust to its rhythm, I slowly get a hang of them but no wait, they don’t let me at peace that easily. They will come, make a hue and cry, wreak havoc, place them on full display and then settle off to oblivion. But because of puberty, I will be able to handle these wayward emotions all through my life. Maybe not. But the idea of it still comforts.
4. Puberty is a wakeup call to love myself
Puberty is a period when I need to be conscious about my body and mind and respect them by listening to what they are saying so that I can revert with gentle care. This is when self-care routines take high priority. I need to fill my cup to the brim so that enough is left to pour onto others. Self-care doesn’t sound selfish instead it is a necessity. If my inner weather is good, it will reflect positively on my external weather. Puberty is the first step towards self-love.
5. Puberty means change – Like every change is unsettling at first, Puberty too is not received with gracious warmth. It takes time to realise the change, be aware of the aspects it brings physically and emotionally, and accept it every month. I treat puberty as my not-so-friendly visitor who is going to bring change with its presence but it is dire necessary to tame my hard-to-tame hormones.
Reema was not conditioned to break down myths that surrounded puberty and womanhood because she herself was not equipped enough with right resources, forget about eliciting a right response to her daughters. She repeated the age-old conditioning that taught her to suppress the curiosity and treat the physical and mental needs as taboo. But books like this give a fresh lease of life and hope for the modern parents who are straddling in the edges of teenage changes and addressing a sensitive topic with grace. They understand that unheeding to them will only invite unhealthy means to satisfy the ensuing curiosity. Hence, a good resource that becomes their ready reckoner for a healthy start of a difficult conversation is vital.
‘Whats Up With Me’ fulfils that need and serves as a wake-up call for parents to consciously attend the growing children’s emotional needs and use age-appropriate language to feed on the curiosity related to evolutionary changes that they undergo in the period of adolescence. It enlightens the children to associate with their bodies positively when they confront puberty hormones.
Read this book and ask your preteens to read it too so that you can have an open communication with them.
Exclusive Personalised Period Tool Kit to Become a Period Warrior – 10 Must-haves in Period Checklist
1. Sanitary napkins – You can use other options and alternatives to sanitary napkins like menstrual cups. But if you are using sanitary napkins, make sure you know how to use a sanitary pad/napkin. Ask your mother/sister/aunt to teach you how to place the napkin inside your panty. Stock up while you are going out for class or school. Having pads handy will alleviate your fears and lower your stress when you are going to be out for longer hours.
2. Extra set of clothes/ pants – Generally pads are leakproof but if you are facing heavy periods, it is better to have an extra set of clothes or pants to quickly change in case of accidents. You are mentally at peace when you have few clothes to dig into when such instances appear unexpected.
3. Journal – Maintain a mood tracker. Know what irks you on this day. Follow it up with a nice thing or a thing you enjoy like having a bite of chocolate or listening to soft music etc.
4. Comfortable underwears – Be comfortable in your second skin. Your panties should be like your second skin. Wear comfortable and breathable panties when you are having periods. Carry an extra panty as a backup option in case of leaks and stains that show up unwanted in the time of heavy flows.
5. Newspapers/Trash bags – Disposing off soiled sanitary pads is must and one of the first in the period hygiene 101. Carry a set of old newspapers to discard the soiled sanitary pads. Always keep some extra disposable trash bags with you the newspaper wrapped soiled pads.
6. Hand Sanitizer – Hand sanitizer is a quick shot way to clean your hands when you don’t have an option to wash your hands. Washing beats everything whether used with a liquid hand wash or just rinsing with plain water but second best is hand sanitizer. Carry a bottle of hand sanitizer to use it right after disposing your soiled pads and changing into a new one.
7. Comfort snacks – Keep comfort snacks with you when cramps make you uneasy. Invest in healthy snacks like homemade nutrition balls and sugar free healthy foods. Hangry is a common side effect that girls feel during periods. Do not starve yourself as your body needs adequate energy to make up for cramps and mood swings.
8. Heat pad for cramp relief – A heat pad is a soothing companion to provide relief during cramps. Use it if you feel severe discomfort.
9. Period supply bag with period essentials – Fill your period supply bag with above listed period essentials. Keep it ready few days before your periods so that you can embrace your periods stress-free. Your period supply bag is a convenient kit and serves as a reminder to prioritize your menstrual health.
10. Add affirmations to the mix – Positive affirmations enhance your mood and makes you focus on positivity. Write affirmations in your journal and read them aloud. Sit in your favourite calm corner and meditate on these affirmations to invite feel good hormones.
Puberty is a significant phase in a girl’s life, and the right knowledge can be a guiding signpost, helping her navigate this transition smoothly. Equip yourself with accurate resources to support her journey from childhood to girlhood. Let’s break the myth, fear, and misconception around puberty. Let’s normalize periods.
WARM REGARDS
Saranya
Saranya Iyer is a writer and marketing professional with 14 years of experience in content, marketing, and client relationship management. She is the author/co-author of five anthologies and currently serves as the Digital Marketing Head for Momly, a motherhood community for new moms. Additionally, she writes as a columnist for the leading magazine of Delhi Press – Woman’s Era and Alive and works as an academic educator and Spanish language trainer, catering to middle graders, and highschoolers.
